In the Rain
by Videru
Summary: After the battle at Gronder field, Felix finds himself alone and anguished, sulking as he one can expect him to. That is until an unexpected encounter happens. **Mild spoliers for Blue Lions route!**


Returning from Gronder field was harsh. Weary and bruised from both the battle and the losses, the walk to base camp felt like wandering through a foggy labyrinth. Dragging their feet and bloodied weapons through the forest, the troops finally made their way back to the ruins that served them as a makeshift operations base. The air was heavy as weapons and gear were put away and bishops set up to continue treating the wounded.

Felix looked at his hands. There was dirt under his nails, on his overcoat, and his boots. Even on his hair. Because of the rain, most of it had already turned into mud, but he couldn't bring himself to get cleaned up. He was covered in the dirt that had buried his father not even two hours ago. He was covered in soil from a foreing land that had been dug up into an indistinct grave. The realization hung heavy in his mind.

It wasn't that his father was of too high a class to be buried in such a place, Felix never cared much for nobility and their nonsense. It was the thought that Rodrigue had given his life so freely for that monster of a prince. That made his blood boil until he saw red and nothing else. Why would anyone follow that beast so mindlessly? What was to be gained from dying for one such as him?

His fists clenched at the thought and he knew that sleep wouldn't come tonight, so the swordsman made his way into the room that had been used the past few days as a sparring room. Part of the roof was collapsed, allowing the rain to pour through, but he didn't even notice. His mind was void of any thoughts except for the rolling thunder that resonated over his head.

_Why?_

After a long while, the cold and humidity had stiffened his muscles, aching as he turned slightly to the sound of footsteps approaching. He hadn't paid much attention, it was more of an instinctual reaction as his senses were honed to remain alert even when his mind wandered. The intruder didn't come close, only stood by the stone wall where the door had once been.

Even without turning, he knew very well who it was. Her piercing presence was unmistakable. He was surprised she had come at all, as none of his camarades had even given him a word since the incident, not even the boar prince. They even tried to spare him the pitiful looks. He understood, they knew he didn't care for niceties and would rather be alone now more than ever. Still, he expected Mercedes to approach him at some point, try to comfort him as she would've done her younger brother. But not _her_. Byleth had always been unreadable to him, back in their academy days and more so now. Her eyes rarely betrayed the thoughts that went on in her mind.

"Felix" her whisper was barely audible through the spatter of the rain. At least there was no pity in her voice, the Fraldarius heir thought. She sounded genuinely sorrowful. Thankfulness surged in his heavy chest for a fleeting moment, only to give way to even more anger than before.

Byleth's eyes widened when Felix turned to smash his fist into the wall behind her, right by her face, but she didn't dare move. If he had been in the right state of mind to appreciate it, Felix would've grinned at catching her off-guard. Her green eyes searched his gaze but his head hung low, rain dripping from his indigo locks. She had wanted to come and be with him as soon as they had been back but she had gotten caught up with Dimitri. Although his return to his senses was a ray of hope in this grim hour, Byleth couldn't help the regret from tugging at her heart that it had to be at Rodrigue's expense. And at Felix's too. For some reason she didn't really want to think about, she felt she needed to be here now. With him.

Her breath caught up in her throat when Felix swiftly turned and smashed his right fist again into the wall behind her, over and over again. The sound of his knuckles against the stone mimicked the thunder above them until his strength faltered and he simply hovered closer to her, his damaged fist still pressed hard against the wall. Still they stood for what seemed like hours, the rain soaking them through, until Felix was finally able to breathe again. Byleth didn't move. She waited for his anger to subside, until his breathing evened out and he finally pulled his fist back from the now bloodied wall.

"You're going to need that hand if you still want to become the strongest swordsman in the kingdom, you know?"

Felix didn't answer but was tempted to look up at the sudden sound of fabric ripping, stumbling upon her malachite gaze in the process. Had her eyes always been that calm?

"Here" she soothed as she brought his hand close to her face, stretching his slender fingers to assess the damage before wrapping them in the piece of fabric torn from her cape.

Conflicted emotions surged in his chest. Why had his strength betrayed him the moment he needed it most? Why was everyone so willing to throw their lives away in the name of honor and duty? Why did it have to be for him, that boar? His gaze lost all focus as these thoughts raced through his head, draining him from all the strength he had left. Why?

Byleth didn't hesitate to wrap her arms around his neck, tangling her fingers into his wet hair and letting it fall loose. Felix was frozen for a second, but soon found his arms encircling her waist on their own accord, holding tighter the moment he felt her warm skin under his fingertips. She shivered slightly at the contact with his wet and cold clothes but she only held on tighter and tighter. No words of condolement were uttered, and he was grateful for that. She knew he didn't need that. He needed something to hold on to as his world threatened to collapse around him. Someone.

Felix buried his face in his former professor's neck, breathing in that familiar scent of wild flowers. Even though they were soaked in rain, blood, and sweat from the battle, her scent was sweet and fresh. Had it always been so soothing? For a moment the world around him vanished until there was nothing left but the feeling that he would follow this enticing woman to hell and back if she asked. He felt she could make even _this_ right. Maybe he just needed to trust her, much the same way his father had trusted Dimitri even with his life.

_Ah._

Would he give his life for Byleth even if she didn't ask him to? Would he follow her lead unquestioningly? Yes. Yes, he began to understand.

_I'm a willing fool too, after all. _

The swordsman felt the walls he had so carefully built around his emotions come crashing right down. A single warm drop rolled down his cheek, getting lost in the cold rain pouring over them. Byleth began running her fingers across his hair and scalp, gently soothing, until he lost all sense of consciousness around him.

They hung on to each other until the rain stopped falling and only the distant thunder remained. The wind picked up and shivers ran through their soaked bodies. So the green haired mercenary disentangled her arms from around his neck slowly, searching for his scarlet eyes and finding sorrow but no more of that anger he had displayed before. She felt light headed for some reason. Had his eyes always been so deep? His gaze seemed to go right through her and she looked away to try and hide the heat rising to her pale cheeks.

"Let's get you some dry clothes" she spoke softly as she tried to turn around but his strong hand held her back.

Byleth stopped and allowed his tall frame to envelop her from behind in an almost crushing embrace. She could feel his heart racing through his thick clothes. If she had had a heartbeat, it would probably match his, but her quick and shallow breathing betrayed her all the same. And it didn't go unnoticed by Felix. Were the circumstances different, he might have found that enticing. Maybe he would dwell on those foreign feelings later. But for now he just needed this closeness to keep himself grounded. He had never been an indulging man but he wanted to satisfy his need for warmth just this once, decorum be damned and all. And to his surprise, she willingly obliged.

The first rays of sunlight found them tangled in each other's arms, right on the cold floor, against the stone wall, and covered with his tattered cape. Byleth was sound asleep against his chest and Felix couldn't help but get lost in her perfect features for a few moments. His heart still ached with grief but it didn't burn with anger anymore. He would've fallen asleep again, lost in her smooth visage, if not for the screaming ache of his stiff muscles. They really needed to get out of these sticky and cold clothes now.

Careful not to wake her, Felix carried his former professor on his arms and made his way to her quarters, thankful that it was early enough for no one else to be up yet. This would be rather difficult to explain. He realized she must have been exhausted if, as alert as she always was, she didn't even budge as he carried her through the muddy camp. As he lowered her onto her makeshift bed, a soft moan escaped her lips, and it was like an arrow going right through Felix. It was only then that he felt the weight of what had happened between them and it paralyzed him. _Damn._ Heat rose to his cheeks and ears until he was sure his face looked like a beet and his heart hammered his chest so hard he thought it might burst. What in the world was he thinking? How would he be able to face her after this?

Unable to look at her calm, sleeping features any longer, he fled on unsteady legs, making his way swiftly to his own quarters. And unknown to him, as soon as he had stepped out of Byleth's room, her malachite eyes opened wide and she let out a gasp she had been holding, her own heart pounding in her ears. Although she was pleased that his former student seemed to have tamed his anguish about his father's death, she couldn't help but fear she might have gotten a little more than she bargained for. Trying to steer her thoughts away from the indigo-haired swordsman, Byleth got up to change into dry clothes. The war council only a few hours away would certainly be awkward… and yet, she was looking forward to it and—why deny it?—to facing the enigmatic heir to Fraldarius house.


End file.
